Aw, we can't do it, who are we kidding?
It's impossible! It's true!
You can't do the Switch! Nobody can do the Switch!
It was a stupid idea to begin with!
Let's face it.
I'm stuck with the non-laugher and that's that!
We'll come up with something.
Yeah, sure we will.
All right. See you tomorrow.
I-I-I-I-I got it!!!!!
(cut to the boys are finishing pizza and beer. George begins here, slowly, carefully, to make sure Jerry's got it)
All right. Let's go over it again, one more time.
So I tell Sandy that I want to have a ménage à trois
with her and her roommate.
And you believe this course of action
will have a two-pronged effect.
Firstly, the very mention of the idea
will cause Sandy to recoil in disgust,
whereupon she will insist
that I remove myself from the premises.
At this point, it is inevitable
that she will seek out the roommate
to apprise her of this abhorrent turn of events.
The roommate will then offer her friend
the requisite sympathy
even as part of her cannot help but feel
somewhat flattered by her inclusion
in the unusual request.
A few days go by and a call is placed
at a time when Sandy is known to be busy at work.
Once the initial awkwardness is relieved
with a little playful humor,
which she of course cannot resist,
an invitation to a friendly dinner is proffered.
Huh. Well, it all sounds pretty good.
There's only one flaw in it:
She'd have to go out with me behind Sandy's back.
She's not gonna do that.
You disappoint me, my friend.
Sandy wants nothing to do with you.
She tells Laura,
"If you want to waste your time with that pervert,
that's your problem."
It's a perfect plan.
Yet so simple.
This is what I do.