The Bad Beginning

If you are interested in stories with happy endings,
you would be better off reading some other book.
In this book, not only is there no happy ending,
there is no happy beginning
and very few happy things in the middle.
This is because not very many happy things happened
in the lives of the three Baudelaire youngsters.
Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire were intelligent children,
and they were charming, and resourceful,
and had pleasant facial features,
but they were extremely unlucky,
and most everything that happened to them
was rife with misfortune, misery, and despair.
I’m sorry to tell you this, but that is how the story goes.

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.